This is my fave San Diego story– so I’ll cut right to the meat and forgo all my long-winded “filler” crap:
It’s San Diego Comic Con. After a hard day “working” the convention (Hey! Walking around and talking to people about their projects and books IS hard!)– I decide to hit the Gaslamp District bars with one of my Favorite Pals in the whole wide world– a married comic book writer (one of those descriptive facts will become important in a second) that I’ll call Bill. (Mainly ’cause “Bill” is easy to type.)
We walk into this bar– which is wall-to-wall. Everybody’s drinking profusely. Lots of attractive people inside too.
My kind of place.
We struggle to reach the bar. It’s worse than Manhattan’s “A” Train during RUSH HOUR. You’re forced to rub up against all kinds of people you’d rather not– but the few you do like rubbing up against make up for the close “dude-on-dude” contact.
Order drinks. Laughing. Meeting all kinds of new people. Very attractive women decide that the bar floor is too crowded and we help them hop on the bar so they can dance.
Thank you Lindsay Lohan. Thank you Paris Hilton. Thank you Britney Spears.
Out of the 5 ladies now dancing on the bar– 4 have on short dresses and have obviously forgotten they’ve gone commando tonight.
Enjoying the view. Drinks and sights are making us randy.
Bill (the married one, remember) suddenly sees a beautiful tanned goddess walk by wearing a flimsy black dress so short it should be (and probably is in Utah) illegal.
Suddenly Bill’s hand darts up and up under the lady’s skirt… Where I can tell by the way his forearm muscles are tightly flexing– Bill has decided to partake in a serious gambit of GRAB ASS.
The woman snaps her neck around and yelps, “Hey, that’s MY ASS!”
Bill, not losing a beat, replies, “Yeah, I know! Isn’t it great?“
And then the woman smiles, Bill finally loosens his grip and INEXPLICABLY she says, “You’re cute.” and kisses him on the mouth.
And they say “The Meek shall inherit the Earth”.