Archive for August, 2010

Introducing the WINE RACK!

Posted: August 31, 2010 in Crap, FANTASTY, WTF?
Tags: , ,
WINE IN YOUR BRA…
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

A Tasty Treat

Simple, Breast Centric Design

The Amazon description of the product starts off amazingly straight-forward– given the laugh inducing design of the product:

Comfortable sports bra with polyurathane bladder holds 25 ounces of your favorite beverage
Medium-sized bra fits 34C through 38C
Removable polyurethane bladder custom-shaped to fit bra
Long drinking tube with easy-to-use on/off valve to control the flow
Bra is machine washable; hand wash bladder

Avoid long lines for a cool, refreshing beverage at sporting events and parties with the WineRack, which integrates a polyurethane bladder into a comfortable sports bra. This medium-sized WineRack fits 34C through 38C bra sizes and holds 25 ounces (750ml) of your favorite beverage. It includes a long drinking tube with an easy-to-use on/off valve to control the flow. In addition to free-flowing beverages, the WineRack can also keep you warm or cool depending on what you fill it with as well as increase your bust size. The bra is machine washable and the removable bladder should be hand washed.

HERE’S WHERE THING’S START TO GO WAY OFF-KILTER

Then the manufacturer decides to get in on the description, running through a litany of misogynistic themes that unfortunately only start with making fun of their model’s breast size.

It is a textbook example of how NOT to promote a product (of you intend to sell any):

The Winerack every girls best friend. Turn an A cup in to double Ds and sport your favorite beverage for yourself and your friends. Better than a Boob Job and Cheaper Too. Not to mention the savings on over priced drinks. We developed The Winerack to Fill Out our product line if you will. The picture shown here is of our good friend Drea, who is not, no offense Drea, Well Endowed. Sporting the Winerack and Voila’ Drea’s giving Pamela Anderson a run for the money. Take a bottle of wine, a mixed drink or even a fifth of your favorite hard stuff to the movies, concerts, ball games, even PTA meetings. Sporting a rack that will turn heads and serving a beverage that will have guys standing in line for a sip of your secret stash. With simple blow into the tube it’s easy to keep that full look even as you drink from your secret stash.

The inner workings of this COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY device

As I was reading about the rack– laughing at the manufacturer’s magnificent marketing ineptitude– I suddenly realized there might be a silver lining in all this sexism:

I can’t wait for some female booze hound try to walk one of these on to a plane to skip the airline’s wine and liquor gouging.

If they do and they get caught– then the ladies will be taking off a helluva lot more than their shoes off at the security checkpoints!

Vive le casier à vin!

(Not really)

Amazon.com’s ALL Wii Gold Box Sales Event starts Midnight PDT 8/31/10

Sometimes VERY MUCH worth the trouble

Like all sales, you win some and you lose some. If you’re a Wii fanatic, there’s guaranteed to be some games you  already have and some you probably don’t want.

But that’s half the fun.

The Official Teaser Trailer for the upcoming animated short film

Atomic Robo: Last Stop

(Thanks to the eagle eyes of Jose CCW*TV Melendez for the link to this cool trailer)

Tell me this kitty doesn’t have  a soul.

I DARE YOU

Be kind to animals.

They may cook your RAMEN one day!

Neko Ramen Kitty

Men can be SO demanding

A New Weekly Feature!

I actually pay someone to scour what is on all the channels and then create me a list of the many, many different shows I may want to watch. Then I agree or disagree with their discoveries. Obviously, not all of these shows will be watched this week. Some of them will never be watched– as I often wait for 6-8 weeks before I start watching any new show (unless it is expeditious or important for me to watch it earlier… Or it stars Rhona Mitra or Kim Delaney). I want to make certain some network crank doesn’t cancel their fledgling offering just as I’m getting into it. Other shows– especially a lot of reality shows– I will wait until the whole damn thing is over… So I can skim quickly through and only hit the parts that interest me.

It pays to have 5 DVRs in the house.

You may want to use this list to remind yourself what is on or to find something new you may want to watch. Get some benefit out of it!

The funny thing is… The only two shows (other than Rescue Me) I am looking forward to this week?

WIPEOUT & PITCHMEN (Again!)

View at your own peril

WHAT I’M WATCHING THIS WEEK

Sunday 8/29
Prime Time Emmy Awards
Ice Road Truckers
True Blood
Hung
Entourage
Big Brother 12
Rubicon
Mad Men
Leverage

Monday 8/30
The Closer
Weeds
Lie to Me

Tuesday 8/31
White Collar
Covert Affairs
Warehouse 13
Wipeout
Rescue Me

Wednesday 9/1
Dark Blue
Big Brother 12
Masterchef

Thursday 9/2
Pitchmen
Big Brother 12
Rookie Blue
Project Runway

Friday 9/3
NASCAR Truck Series

Saturday 9/4
NASCAR Qualifying
Nascar Nationwide Race

(This list does not include my daily Countdown, AOTS and Craig Ferguson addictions.)

If you didn't watch The Gates, here's what you missed

I feel the same way, Simon. Who needs all these shitty lists?

DOWN WITH LISTS

God, I am already so very tired of creating and posting lists… And I’ve only been doing them for 2 whole weeks. Box Office Lists. New Music Lists. TV Schedule lists. Best Sellers List. Manga Release Lists. My Pull Lists.

Fuck all these lists!

This isn’t a multi-media entertainment website. I’ll let somebody else tell you whether or not Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore edged out Scott Pilgrim vs the World at this week’s box office. How boring is that shit anyway? Yet, like an idiot– I let myself be momentarily talked into adding those kinds of lists to the site.

So, sorry friend who insisted I needed to include that shit. It’s all gone. If that means we aren’t buddies anymore– then I’ll miss you… I think.

Lists are absolutely not what this site is about.

So even if some days my work and life intrudes and there aren’t any posts of note (although the Doctor Who news was pretty good for a Sunday, don’tcha think?)… That’s just the way it will have to be. I’ll post box office results when they are interesting news and leave them alone when they’re not. Same thing for the New Music Tuesday lists. Only if it is of interest.

So the only 2 lists that will survive the GREAT 2010 LIST  PURGE are: My Pull Lists and the Weekly TV Watch List. Those are the ones people seem to care about.

The New Manga Tuesday posts will show up when there are significant numbers of books to post on a list. The bulk of US Manga releases take place twice a month. There will definitely be lists then… But if there is just a trickle of Manga books during a given week… Then I’ll add them to My Pull List posts.

This idea came to me in the middle of the night. I was suddenly overwhelmed with the mission that I shouldn’t bore you with this bullshit. Instantly, I knew what my path should be: I should spend what little free time I have to tell you about stuff that matters– or stuff to avoid. At least, stuff that is absurd or funny

For in the end, who gives a shit about lists other than the list makers?

DOWN WITH THE LIST MAKERS!

Jesus SAVES... You from UNNEEDED Entertainment Lists