The 9 Deadliest Phrases… When Used By a Woman

Posted: August 4, 2010 in Hell, Life
Tags: ,

This list has been making the internet rounds lately– so I thought I would add my own spin!

Death-- Now not always for the dead!


When used by a Woman!

#1   Fine

This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

#2  Five Minutes

If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before taking out the garbage.

#3  Nothing

This is the calm before the storm. This means something– so you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with “Nothing” usually end in “Fine.”

#4  Go Ahead

This is a dare, not permission. If you value your balls, do not take this dare.

#5  Loud Sigh

Not actually a word– this is a non-verbal statement, still often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time arguing with you about “Nothing.” (Refer to #3)

#6  That’s Okay

This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. “That’s Okay” means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

#7   Thanks

When a woman thanks you, just say, “You’re welcome.” This is a simple sign of gratitude… Unless she says ‘Thanks a lot. The “a lot” adds a note of pure sarcasm and she is not thanking you. Do not reply with “You’re welcome.” That retort will most definitely bring on a “Whatever.”

#8  Whatever

You’ve just been called an ASS, buddy. Get used to it!

9) Don’t Worry About It… I Got It

Possibly the most dangerous statement a woman can direct at a man. Usually a reply to a man lamely asking a woman if she still wants him to do something. “Don’t worry about it… I got it” means the woman has tired of you lying around after she has asked you to help several times and will now accomplish her goal without your help.

Later, when you inevitably ask “What’s wrong?”, expect no less than a #5, followed by a #3.

And Yes, I am entirely aware that there is an even more embarrassing list of words for the male of our species.

  1. Edward2962 says:

    I’d like to add this one if I may..

    This usually comes during an argument once you’ve had enuff and say something like “I should call my old girlfriend!” or “I’m going to Moe’s for a drink!” She’ll reply, “I wish you would”. You think this is angry acquiescence or a dare…it’s not. It’s a warning to let you know that the neighbors, relatives, and possibly the cops are about to get all up in your business. There will be no way to stop the yelling screaming foolishness to follow. You cannot definitively win at this point.

    The best you can hope for is to pull a Nixon. Withdraw and a achieve “peace with honor”. Say “WHATEVER, (expletive)…” and leave the room.

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