Archive for August 31, 2010

Introducing the WINE RACK!

Posted: August 31, 2010 in Crap, FANTASTY, WTF?
Tags: , ,
WINE IN YOUR BRA…
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

A Tasty Treat

Simple, Breast Centric Design

The Amazon description of the product starts off amazingly straight-forward– given the laugh inducing design of the product:

Comfortable sports bra with polyurathane bladder holds 25 ounces of your favorite beverage
Medium-sized bra fits 34C through 38C
Removable polyurethane bladder custom-shaped to fit bra
Long drinking tube with easy-to-use on/off valve to control the flow
Bra is machine washable; hand wash bladder

Avoid long lines for a cool, refreshing beverage at sporting events and parties with the WineRack, which integrates a polyurethane bladder into a comfortable sports bra. This medium-sized WineRack fits 34C through 38C bra sizes and holds 25 ounces (750ml) of your favorite beverage. It includes a long drinking tube with an easy-to-use on/off valve to control the flow. In addition to free-flowing beverages, the WineRack can also keep you warm or cool depending on what you fill it with as well as increase your bust size. The bra is machine washable and the removable bladder should be hand washed.

HERE’S WHERE THING’S START TO GO WAY OFF-KILTER

Then the manufacturer decides to get in on the description, running through a litany of misogynistic themes that unfortunately only start with making fun of their model’s breast size.

It is a textbook example of how NOT to promote a product (of you intend to sell any):

The Winerack every girls best friend. Turn an A cup in to double Ds and sport your favorite beverage for yourself and your friends. Better than a Boob Job and Cheaper Too. Not to mention the savings on over priced drinks. We developed The Winerack to Fill Out our product line if you will. The picture shown here is of our good friend Drea, who is not, no offense Drea, Well Endowed. Sporting the Winerack and Voila’ Drea’s giving Pamela Anderson a run for the money. Take a bottle of wine, a mixed drink or even a fifth of your favorite hard stuff to the movies, concerts, ball games, even PTA meetings. Sporting a rack that will turn heads and serving a beverage that will have guys standing in line for a sip of your secret stash. With simple blow into the tube it’s easy to keep that full look even as you drink from your secret stash.

The inner workings of this COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY device

As I was reading about the rack– laughing at the manufacturer’s magnificent marketing ineptitude– I suddenly realized there might be a silver lining in all this sexism:

I can’t wait for some female booze hound try to walk one of these on to a plane to skip the airline’s wine and liquor gouging.

If they do and they get caught– then the ladies will be taking off a helluva lot more than their shoes off at the security checkpoints!

Vive le casier à vin!

(Not really)