Posts Tagged ‘PS3’

GRIMACE MILKSHAKE’S VIDEO GAME NEWS AND REVIEWS

Monday, 9.6.10

DISAPPOINTMENT: A REAL KICK IN THE PANTS

Okay, so last week I downloaded the Mafia II demo from Xbox Live and I beat it in about a half-hour. I died a bunch of times but I had fun. It definitely felt like a more linear version of Grand Theft Auto a complaint also leveled at the original Mafia game.

I thought the gameplay was mediocre and the cover/fire mechanics were better in last generation games. Killswitch comes to mind. I do like how the graphics, sound and overall cinematic treatment make it feel like I’m playing a prequel to The Godfather movies. It feels very realistic to walk around town. Unlike GTA– people actually jump out of your way during driving scenes. Download the preview on PSN or Xbox Live. I’m sure you’ll find something you’ll like– as the developers seem to have put a lot of effort into this game despite some of the shortcomings.

MAFIA II: THE REVIEW YOU CAN’T REFUSE

I’ve given my impressions of this much-anticipated game. Now it’s time for GameTrailers to do the job of presenting us with another excellent video review so we don’t have to read. Enjoy!

MORE GOLDENEYE GOODNESS

Licensed to Kill and Kill and Kill and... (via joystiq,com)

Holy tender ass cheeks, Batman! This new re-imagining of the N64 Goldeneye looks better with each new morsel of information released! Check out this preview. After watching– don’t forget to read some hilarious comments about the game, the N64 and an incident in which 007 James Bond allegedly molested one of the posters! Ha! Ha! Joystiq.com has some of the funniest forum members!

MARVEL CAPCOM 3 VIDEO RAPES MY FACE . . .

… And I’m pressing charges! This shit is way too hyperkinetic for me to take in all at once. But I think it’s worth checking out– if anything, just so you’re not too surprised when it does finally come out. Ten years for a sequel to Marvel vs. Capcom? Way to leave us hanging and skip a generation! Sheesh!

WHO? DOCTOR WHO? THAT’S WHO!

Brilliant!

Nintendo announces NEW Doctor Who games for the Wii and DS. ‘Nuff Said.

(Dedicated to Insideman because he introduced me to the sexy Miss Amy Pond in this picture.)

MAD ABOUT MADDEN NFL 11? YOU SHOULD BE!

Anybody feel a Brees in here?

GameTrailers says it’s much improved but I’m still not satisfied with how they have completely destroyed the franchise mode. Seriously, I used to retain some of my best players for virtually pennies on the dime because I low-balled their agents aggressively. Now they’ve made it way too time-consuming to do so. Kiss my ass, EA. I’m done with Madden as of last year’s edition. Watch the review here.

Blood, Boobs & Berettas

SHANKY PANKY

$15 out of your wallet for a hyper cartoon called Shank doesn’t seem like it’s worth it– but if you’ve got the extra cash lying around for it and you’re hungry for animated action then it might be worth checking out this review at least.

METROID: OTHER M!

Metroid Other M

I’ve had high hopes for Metroid: Other M since I saw it previewed last Fall. It’s from the more than capable developers of Ninja Gaiden– so it sounds like it’s in good hands. Check it out the GameTrailers review right here!

Seize it while you got it!

GRIMACE MILKSHAKE’S VIDEO GAME NEWS AND REVIEWS

Wednesday August 25, 2010

Still playing after all these years!

PINING FOR AERIS

And you thought fanboy love for Nerd Queen Felicia Day was legion. Day ain’t got nothing on Final Fantasy VII’s little flower girl Aeris.

That’s right. This legendary Japanese RPG—filled with morose misanthropic pariahs attempting to save the world… Quite possibly the progenitor for the entire emo fad… Still has thousands (if not hundreds of thousands) of human gamers attempting to resurrect the beloved video game character. The revival effort is so widespread that Game Trailers has devoted an entire video to the quest. Whether the game holds a super secret key enabling Aeris to return to the land of the living or not– one thing is definitely certain: FF 7 will continue to be one of the most overrated– yet still amazing– video games of all time.

Serious. On a good day, I’m only willing to give this game a “9” on a 10 scale. Yet thirteen years later, video game fanatics everywhere would sell their mothers for a mere glimpse of an FF VII remake. Demand is so great, that I truly believe if Sony were to bite on the idea– and push the remake exclusively to the PS3– the hardware maker would finally sell enough units to catch up to the Xbox 360.

So what are you waiting for Sony? Pony up $10 million so Square Enix can create this remake! Package it with a 250 GB PS3 Slim– all for $350—and you might just save face on the sales of your ultra-powerful current failure of a system. While you’re at it– feel free to throw in multiple endings (three will do). One of them must be an Aeris revival. I’d also like to see a “bad boy” ending that involves the Shinra Corporation destroying the planet– turning it into a Mad Max environment.

THIS CONTROLLER IS GOLDEN

I'm ONATOPP of this!

Look at this sick beast of a controller! Talk about material excess. All it takes is $20 extra for a golden controller to match my golden toilet and golden bath tub.

Don’t think so. As much as it appeals– who am I but just another broke college student? I’ll stick with the Wii Remote / Nunchuk combo that should still work just fine.

AN OFFER YOU SHOULDN’T REFUSE

Lead character is named Vito! Really? *cough* GODFATHER *cough*

Don’t forget about this game. Don’t let it get lost in the shuffle. Everyone I know who played the first Mafia thought it was awesome. The reviews were overwhelmingly positive too. Mafia II looks like a great follow-up to the 2003 release. Supposedly more linear than GTA– but hopefully makes up for it with a more developed story. OUT NOW. As usual, I’ll have the review posted as soon as the site I trust– Game Trailers– drops it!

GRAN TURISMO KART

What's next? Bumper cars?

HOLY ASS! It doesn’t look like much but it’s nice to know that Polyphony and Sony are making sure that GT5 is the most content-packed GT yet! Go-Kart gameplay! Hey Sony! Get on delivering that PS3 Slim with PS2 backwards compatibility already!

DOG DAYS WITH KANE AND LYNCH

Dog Tired or Reinvigorated?

A solid score from my favorite video game website of all time– deserving a quick mention. Kane and Lynch 2: Dog Days looks to satisfy those who love third person shooters.

BATMAN: BRAVE AND THE BOLD PREVIEW

Rock 'em Sock 'em Batman

Looks awesome! Then again, I’ve always been a fan of beat ‘em ups ever since I played Final Fight in the arcades and Double Dragon… To see Batman getting the same beat-up  for the next generation of kids is actually very heartwarming. Also, getting the chance to tell Batman jokes while playing the game with easily impressionable cousins will only add to my fun factor.

ONE ROCKING TRACKLIST

I love me some Rock Band! The first one was great. The second is outstanding (I’m still playing)… But Rock Band 3 looks to blow Rock Band fans away. I leave you this week with the Complete 83 Song Rock Band Tracklist:

The Complete Rock Band 3 Setlist
  1. Amy Winehouse – “Rehab”
  2. Anthrax – “Caught in a Mosh”
  3. At the Drive-In – “One Armed Scissor”
  4. Avenged Sevenfold – “Beast And The Harlot”
  5. The B-52s – “Rock Lobster”
  6. The Beach Boys – “Good Vibrations” (Live)
  7. Big Country – “In a Big Country”
  8. Blondie – “Heart of Glass”
  9. Bob Marley & The Wailers – “Get Up, Stand Up”
  10. The Bronx – “False Alarm”
  11. Chicago – “25 or 6 to 4″
  12. The Cure – “Just Like Heaven”
  13. David Bowie – “Space Oddity”
  14. Deep Purple – “Smoke on the Water”
  15. Def Leppard – “Foolin'”
  16. Devo – “Whip It”
  17. Dio – “Rainbow in the Dark”
  18. Dire Straits – “Walk of Life”
  19. The Doobie Brothers – “China Grove”
  20. The Doors – “Break On Through (To the Other Side)”
  21. Dover – “King George”
  22. Echo & the Bunnymen – “The Killing Moon”
  23. Elton John – “Saturday Night’s Alright for Fighting”
  24. Faith No More – “Midlife Crisis”
  25. Filter – “Hey Man, Nice Shot”
  26. The Flaming Lips – “Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots, Pt. 1″
  27. Foreigner – “Cold as Ice”
  28. Golden Earring – “Radar Love”
  29. HIM – “Killing Loneliness”
  30. Huey Lewis and the News – “The Power of Love”
  31. Hypernova – “Viva La Resistance”
  32. Ida Maria – “Oh My God”
  33. INXS – “Need You Tonight”
  34. The J. Geils Band – “Centerfold”
  35. James Brown – “I Got You (I Feel Good)”
  36. Jane’s Addiction – “Been Caught Stealing”
  37. The Jimi Hendrix Experience ˆ”Crosstown Traffic”
  38. Joan Jett and the Blackhearts – “I Love Rock ‘n Roll”
  39. John Lennon – “Imagine”
  40. Juanes – “Me Enamora”
  41. Lynyrd Skynyrd – “Free Bird”
  42. Maná – “Oye Mi Amor”
  43. Marilyn Manson – “The Beautiful People”
  44. Metric – “Combat Baby”
  45. The Muffs – “Outer Space”
  46. Night Ranger – “Sister Christian”
  47. Ozzy Osbourne – “Crazy Train”
  48. Paramore – “Misery Business”
  49. Phish – “Llama”
  50. Phoenix – “Lasso”
  51. The Police – “Don’t Stand So Close to Me”
  52. Poni Hoax – “Antibodies”
  53. Pretty Girls Make Graves – “Something Bigger, Something Brighter”
  54. Primus – “Jerry Was a Race Car Driver”
  55. Queen – “Bohemian Rhapsody”
  56. Queens of the Stone Age – “No One Knows”
  57. Rammstein – “Du Hast”
  58. Ramones – “I Wanna Be Sedated”
  59. Ravonettes – “Last Dance”
  60. Rilo Kiley – “Portions for Foxes”
  61. Riverboat Gamblers – “Don’t Bury Me… I’m Still Not Dead”
  62. Roxette – “The Look”
  63. Slipknot – “Before I Forget”
  64. Smash Mouth – “Walkin’ on the Sun”
  65. The Smiths – “Stop Me If You’ve Heard This One Before”
  66. The Sounds – “Living in America”
  67. Spacehog – “In the Meantime”
  68. Steve Miller Band – “Fly Like an Eagle”
  69. Stone Temple Pilots – “Plush”
  70. Swingin’ Utters – “This Bastard’s Life”
  71. T. Rex – “20th Century Boy”
  72. Tears for Fears – “Everybody Wants to Rule the World”
  73. Tegan and Sara – “The Con”
  74. Them Crooked Vultures – “Dead End Friends”
  75. Tokio Hotel – “Humanoid”
  76. Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers – “I Need to Know”
  77. The Vines – “Get Free”
  78. War – “Low Rider”
  79. Warren Zevon – “Werewolves of London”
  80. The White Stripes – “The Hardest Button to Button”
  81. Whitesnake – “Here I Go Again”
  82. The Who – “I Can See for Miles”
  83. Yes – “Roundabout”

I cannot wait to get my hands on the Rock Band 3 Keyboard

GRIMACE MILKSHAKE’S VIDEO GAME NEWS AND REVIEWS

Sunday August 8, 2010

HELP! I think I’m suffering from a Pach-Attack!

Yes, he DOES wear a TIE... sometimes


I’m a big fan of Michael Pachter. I didn’t discover the Pach-Attack video blog until this past Spring while surfing my favorite website on the internet(s)– GameTrailers.com.

I remember first hearing about Michael back in 2008 in one of EGM’s (then) final issues. (FYI: EGM is back on the newsstands and on the internet at! I suggest you check out what is arguably one of the finest video game magazines of all time!)

Anyway, Pachter is an employee at Wedbush Morgan Securities in Los Angeles, California. His job is to manage activity in the electronics entertainment industry and predict how their stocks will move. He also predicts what a big companies such as EA, Activision, Ubisoft, Nintendo, Sony, Microsoft, etc.– will do to turn more profits within a year. Check out the Pach-Attack on a weekly basis. You’ll find that this ex-lawyer turned securities monitor is also one of the biggest video game nerds out there. He isn’t the best player but he is the best at predicting trends that may be happening in the near future.

So many crappy video games, so little time

So MANY bad games to talk shit about!!

The Angry Video Game Nerd was the first person to introduce me to GameTrailers.com– as his website features his self-titled series. He only makes one video a month but they’re at least fifteen-minutes long now. Check out his new episode about Zelda II… And when you get the chance visit him at w for the archive of his past videos.

We want to date your Avatar... But you have to answer our IMs!

GAME ON!

I owe Insideman for introducing me to The Guild via the Do You Wanna Date My Avatar? video. So, I must do him a favor in return by posting Game On a Bollywood-inspired music video featuring our favorite sociopathic misanthropes.

BTW, Amy Okuda shakes that ass like a pro:

TAX… MY ASS!

Soon to be taxing the air you breathe

Seriously, government. You want to tax video games? Are you going to tax my ass the next time I need to use the toilet? Politicians need to take significant pay cuts (66% will do) before they even think about taxing entertainment like video games. Taxes . . . pffft. Come back when you learn how to balance the budget without taxing our favorite video game developers out of business.

‘Til Next Week!

Would you like a sip of my milkshake?

eBay is  running a series of sales on “Back to School” products.

Here is today’s Back to School special!

Go directly to FAILURE LAND, Mario!

No word yet on whether Microsoft or Sony considers Super Mario Galaxy 2 to be an integral part of a prospective job applicant’s curriculum vitae.

GRIMACE JJL’S VIDEO GAME NEWS AND REVIEWS

Keep thinking you're safe. You're not.

Grimace JJL is the Swear All You Like Blog’s 1st regular Contributor! Show him some love (and some episodes of Felicia’s Day’s The Guild) and he’ll be your friend for life!

Monday August 2, 2010

First off, never forget you get what you pay for…

Sniper: Ghost Warrior

Let’s start with some, *ahem*, garbage. Even though I was somewhat looking forward to Sniper: Ghost Warrior– I ended up classically disappointed. Sniper held the promise of being the next great FPS– but instead it simply justifies its’ Bargain Bin Price of $39.99. (Yes, that’s the brand new price.)

To snipe or not to snipe... An EASY question to answer with Sniper!

Sniper had the potential to give the gamer a fantastic experience– just like the sniper levels in the very impressive Call of Duty: Modern Warfare– but jacked up a notch… Because Sniper lets you snipe enemies for the entire game.

To be blunt: labeling Sniper a “cheap knock-off” would be a compliment. Bad AI, last generation graphics and uninspired game play make this bargain-priced title a great candidate for an even lower price– in the clearance aisle. Check out the full GameTrailers review here.

StarCraft II: Wings of Liberty Recommendations

Is your PC up to snuff? Mine isn’t! At long last, the game StarCraft fans have

Some of the hot action in StarCraft II

been waiting for since 1999– StarCraft II– is almost here! I’ve had my PC since April 2004 but it looks like StarCraft II might just get me to break the Piggy Bank on a new PC… Even before the onslaught of the yearly day-after-Thanksgiving retail sales day Americans call Black Friday. (Maybe I’ll just buy the new PC in August and get a new graphics card during Black Friday… That way I’ll feel like I saved some cash.)

StarCraft II looks like it will pack a nice graphical punch without taxing most consumer’s personal computers… So, what are you waiting for? As the Marine infantryman in Starcraft would say, “Go! Go! Go!” (And then tell me if it’s worth buying a new PC for!)

Excitement, Thy Name is Xbox 360 Slim

Priorities must be set.

First, I need a new clothes dryer. The one my family purchased in 1995 is more efficient at noise pollution than drying our clothes. Second– as mentioned above– I need a new PC. Although one of my best friends commends me for being “green” and saving the planet, I can assure you that it isn’t my intention to save the world by keeping my old ass computer! I’ll just have to save the Earth some other way.

OH MY! Look at all those PORTS you have!

Now onto the topic: The XBox 360 Slim with the Valhalla chip set. What do I do? This baby has built-in wi-fi and also has an ethernet port for those who don’t like wi-fi (watch IGN’s comparison here). The Slim also packs 250 GB of RAM, has less power consumption–and fully supports third-party flash drives! No more carrying hard  drives back and forth when you can just slap in the flash drive hanging from around your neck!

Insideman wants a story about me trading in my Xbox 360 Arcade with the Jasper chipset (which I’m very happy with) for a Slim. Unbeknownst to him, one of our gaming cohorts mentioned that there will probably be a Xbox 360 Slim “Holiday Bundle” showing its’ face on Black Friday… So it looks like Insideman will have to wait until after Thanksgiving for that story!  (Sorry, Bud!)

As for trading in my Arcade– I’ve got a junior high-aged cousin who wants a 360 but my Aunt staunchly refuses to pay for a brand new machine. I figure I’ll grab a 120 GB hard drive and package it along with my Xbox Arcade and sell it to him for $200. That $200 will be about 66% of the 360 Slim’s price– so I will be good to go. But for now, I need to find some good deals on dryers and a brand new PC. (Any suggestions?)

Green Lantern? More like green jello or…

Apple flavored fruit roll-ups!

And the award for the Worst CGI goes to...

That’s what I think about Green Lantern looks like in his new suit. I think everything but the ring looks terrible. So terrible that I decided to interrupt my first SAYL Video Game Column to talk about a movie costume!

Seriously, GL’s horrible threads almost make Daredevil’s new abomination look decent. I’m really at a loss for what else to say. I like Ryan Reynolds and I’m sure he’ll do Green Lantern justice– especially with his humorous acting style… But this high fructose corn syrup based suit may make the Green Lantern movie look more like an inadvertent comedy than a thrilling action film… and Warner Bros could end up a box office dud. (Especially considering the massive cost involved!)

At this rate, I wouldn’t be surprised if the Producers of the supposedly upcoming, much rumored Superman movie end up consulting with Lady Gaga’s fashion designer for the Man of Steel’s new look!

Sony still playing “Catch-up” with their Failure Fries.

Something’s truly wrong when an older American video game system– known early on for acute hardware failures– is still beating the Sony PS3 on the worldwide sales charts. No surprise– Nintendo’s Wii is still way ahead of everybody. They’re also finally catering to the hardcore market with new Zelda, Metroid and Donkey Kong games– plus a Goldeneye remake later this year. And don’t forget that these likely blockbusters all follow on the heels of the best-selling Super Mario Galaxy 2, of course.

There’s no way Microsoft or Sony’s hardware sales can catch Nintendo in this generation– even if no new consoles emerge until 2015. Second place is still up for grabs… And with Sony slowly lowering prices and adding more features– they may finally get us “Wii60″ (Wii/360) owners to buy a third console. I know I won’t jump until they put full PS2/PS1 compatibility back into the machine. There’s no way in Hades I’m going to let a PS3 Slim and PS2 Slim share the same shelf space!

Have you been watching The Legend of Neil?

Neil is like a real-life Link... If Link were a loser.

No? Then get to it! This web series is exactly what you’d expect to get when a man in his 30’s becomes Link from Legend of Zelda. Unfortunately for Neil, he’s such a loser in real life– he can’t even manage to keep his gas station job! (Wow. Should have gone to college, buddy.)

Anyway, Neil plays Legend of Zelda on his NES (can’t afford WiiWare with gas station pay) gets drunk and ends up becoming Link in-game! That’s all I’m going to say for all of you “TLoN” virgins. Just know that Sandeep Parikh (aka “Zabu” from the hugely popular web show The Guild) created and directs– and the series features The Guild creator/star Felicia Day as the fairy who replenishes your health… But only by having sex with you. If that isn’t the ultimate video game nerd male fantasy then I don’t know what is!

DC Universe Online

Pee yourself multiple times while watching this stunning preview for Sony Online Entertainment’s mega hyped, hotly anticipated MMO DC Universe Online. Who needs World of Warcraft when you’ve got comicdom’s greatest

Is DC Universe Online ready to rock?

and most powerful superheroes? Marvel experienced an EPIC FAIL moment when they pulled their license from the MMO that eventually became Champions Online. Hopefully, Sony learned from their Star Wars Galaxies mistakes and will ensure that their upcoming MMO brings DC Comics’ Crisis on Infinite Earths to life– with the proper gravitas it deserves… The Justice League deserves it and long-suffering fans of current MMOs deserve it too.

Wow. Look. Your Head’s on the Floor!

Mortal Kombat’s Top Ten Fatalities of All Time! Very controversial but also very entertaining. Any true MK fan will have seen the #1 choice from a mile away. Enjoy, bloodhounds!

And finally, why I’m drunk all the time on GameTrailers Kool-Aid…

Why am I such a GameTrailers nuthugger? It’s simple, really. I no longer have as much time to peruse the internet as I’d like.

Grimace JJL likes them! He REALLY likes them!

School, family and social responsibilities take up the majority of my life so I need a website that gets to the point and gives me video news updates in five-to-ten minute bursts. GameTrailers does that.

Instead of having to surf and read through a bunch of crap to get a little bit of information, I simply have to click on one of GameTrailers superbly produced video clips and my news is there. Period. The internet is now my television– in addition to being my digital newspaper.

GameTrailers has most everything I need to satisfy my electronics-related entertainment fix. I hope you discover and enjoy this very cool site. For all of you old-school people still watching television, GameTrailers also has a weekly show on SpikeTV every Friday night. Check your local listings to see why GT has blown past many other gaming sites in both content and quality!

That’s it for this week. Thanks for reading my very first installment. I look forward to hearing what you think.

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